Reading Between The Lines
by hifield
Summary: A tragic error in judgment sends Dr. Keller running back to her beloved Atlantis. Ronon/Keller Pre-ship.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or the awesome characters.

_I appreciate your reviews and look forward to your feedback._

_

* * *

_

Chapter 1

Dr. Keller sat in the mess hall off in a quiet corner sipping on a cup of tea. It was late in Atlantis as she sat inhaling the quiet comfort of home. Jennifer had convinced the Daedalus crew to let her beam into the city before the others who would arrive in the morning. She just wished to slip in without all the fanfare and "welcome home" greetings from her colleagues. She didn't want their sympathy or questions. She just needed a fresh start.

It seemed so long ago when the Ancients expelled them from their city. Without even a "good job" or "thank you" they'd been sent back to Earth to start their lives all over again. After being on Atlantis a new life had been hard to imagine not to mention the gap in one's resume. Jennifer had been fortunate to land a job back at the SGC, which afforded her the opportunity to keep in touch with many from the expedition.

Dr. Lam had been wonderful to work with welcoming her into the infirmary with open arms. Jen was able to re-connect with her dad even squeezing in several visits in the short time she'd been back. She'd begun to think her decision to stay on Earth when everyone returned to Atlantis had been a good thing for her until that fateful night. One small error in judgment and her whole world had fallen apart. Jennifer stared out over the city as the memories came flooding back.

She'd just returned from Wisconsin arriving at the Mountain in the middle of the night.

_Jen took a few minutes to visit with the guard at the entrance to the base as she checked in and showed her identification._

"_Dr. Keller, if you'll wait a few minutes I'll call for an escort," the guard said picking up the phone._

"_You know Sergeant, don't bother anyone, it's late and I'm sure I'll be just fine. After all, I'm on the base so there shouldn't be a problem," Jennifer reasoned. "Besides, the parking area is pretty well lit and patrolled so I'm not worried."_

_He raised the gate bar allowing her to drive through to the parking area then radioed the security team of her arrival. Jennifer diligently looked for a space close to the entrance but it was a Sunday night and everyone was back from the weekend making for a pretty full lot. Finally she spotted an empty space in the far back row grumbling to herself at how far she'd have to carry her bags. _

_She pulled her suitcases out of the back seat of her car and began stuffing her car keys and purse into her carry-on bag hooking it over the handle of her suitcase. With one last look, she hit the auto locks on the car and shut the door turning toward the far entrance to the base._

_As she cleared the front bumper of the car her attacker grabbed her from behind encircling her with one arm pinning her arms and holding a knife to her throat with the other hand. He made the usual threats, don't move, don't scream, I'm not afraid to kill you. Jennifer froze willing her mind to come up with some plan of escape. _

_Off in the distance she could see the security patrol making their rounds. If she could just fend him off until they got closer she'd do something to get their attention. The attacker was reading her mind, moving the knife to her face he began to whisper demands in her ear. The whole time he was growling out orders to her he was carving a path in her head from the right side of her forehead to the top of her ear. She knew the cut wasn't life threatening but it had the effect he was going for … fear. She knew he'd do whatever it took to get what he wanted. _

_The man began to drag her backwards further into the darker realms of the parking area. Jennifer decided to fight him off regardless of the consequences. Thankful she had on her dress boots with the spiked heels, she stomped on his foot with as much force as possible. As the man dropped his arms in pain Jennifer spun around and kneed him in the groin while pushing him backwards as hard as she could. By the time her attacker pulled himself off the ground, Jennifer was running toward the guards making all the noise she could. The man, having analyzed the situation, turned and ran toward the far corner of the lot away from the guards toward safety._

With Dr. Lam's prodding, Jennifer had packed her bags and returned to her beloved Atlantis on the next Daedalus trip to the Pegasus. There were just too many bad memories occupying her mind, killing that youthful innocence she'd always seemed to exude before the Ancients returned. "Forever the optimist," Rodney used to say. All that was gone now replaced with an underlying fear she worked hard to keep at bay. But Jen had great hopes for this new start. If anything could restore her faith in humanity it was Atlantis and the wonderful people that called this place home.

Jennifer reached up tracing the length of her scar as she thought of those days working at the SGC. Dr. Lam had still been on duty when they'd brought her into the infirmary. She'd stayed with Jennifer through the night patching her up and sitting by her bed with comforting words until she'd finally fallen asleep. Jen found out later that when her attacker fell backwards from her push he'd left deep slashes across her arm and side. Again, nothing life threatening but she'd carry the scars as reminders for a long time.

Finishing her tea she sighed deeply as exhaustion began to claim her body. Hearing voices enter the room she tried to make herself as small as possible hoping not to gain anyone's attention. Hopefully it wouldn't be anyone she knew.

SGA-1 and SGA-2 had just returned from a mission and entered the mess hall praying the cooks had put something aside for them before closing the kitchen for the night. Major Lorne had just set his tray down on the table the teams were gathering around when he noticed the lone figure sitting on the other side of the room with her back to the group. Lorne slowly walked over hoping he was right.

"Doc, is that you?" Lorne called as he approached.

Jennifer slowly stood up turning around and was immediately swallowed in his embrace. "Well I hope you don't greet new recruits like this," she chuckled softly.

"You're a sight for sore eyes," he beamed holding her at arm's length. "I'm so glad you decided to come back."

"Is that Dr. Keller?" Teyla asked as everyone at the table turned to watch the reunion.

"I've missed you, Doc," Evan whispered as he kissed her forehead. "I heard rumors …"

"Not now," she cut him off as tears threatened to ruin the moment. "Let's talk later," she suggested.

"Well, come sit with us then," he urged. "You may as well get all the sappy stuff over with all at once," he grinned knowing everyone would want to welcome her home. Evan couldn't help but notice the fresh scar running down the side of her face. _Yes, we will talk later_, he thought to himself as he struggled to hold in his anger, seeing for himself that the rumors were true.

Jennifer enjoyed her time with all her friends sitting around the mess hall table. It'd been great catching up with everyone hearing tales of missions gone wrong and ghosts wandering the halls. She especially enjoyed hearing how Rodney had almost ascended after touching an Ancient device they'd found in the outer parts of Atlantis. They had her laughing so hard the tears were rolling as they described some of his heightened senses and abilities but she could tell underneath all their teasing they'd been worried about losing their friend and were glad to have him back.

Jennifer saw a couple sideways glances from several around the table but thankfully no one was brave enough to ask about her scar. There was plenty of time to deal with it after she'd settled into a routine and she hoped she wouldn't have to answer any questions for a while. Jen just wanted to embrace her new life and leave the past back on Earth. Maybe she'd think about it again when she turned 50, plenty of time to deal with it then.

* * *

Dr. Beckett had set aside a small space for Jennifer to use for research and even had it completely equipped by the time she got to Atlantis. Carson wanted her to eventually resume all her duties but felt she might need to ease into those parts of the job that dealt with people. Dr. Lam had given him the Cliff Notes on her situation, with Jennifer's permission, and together they'd worked out a plan of action for the young doctor.

Jennifer knew she wasn't on the work schedule for another two days but wandered into the infirmary anyway to volunteer her services with the new recruit physicals.

"Good morning Dr. Beckett, looks busy in here today. I'd be glad to help if you'd like to put me to work," Jen offered smiling.

"Well, lass, if you feel up to it I could sure use you for a few hours," Beckett replied relieved.

"Where would you like me to start?" she asked.

"Why don't I turn you over to Marie, you know she's actually the one in charge," he chuckled.

Marie and Jennifer spent a few minutes getting reacquainted after a welcome back hug. Jennifer had always enjoyed Marie's company and considered her a close friend.

"Did I say I'm glad you're back?" Marie giggled having stated the obvious several times in the last ten minutes.

"I think I remember hearing you say that a couple of times," Jen said grinning. "Now where do you want me?"

"It looks like we are a little backed up over there by Dr. Cole. Would you mind helping with the physicals for the scientists?" Marie asked. Dr. Beckett had instructed Marie not to have Jen work on the military for a while and she wondered what was behind the restriction. She'd learned long ago not to question orders knowing that eventually she'd discover more if she waited patiently. And Marie, if nothing else, was a patient woman.

* * *

The dining hall was beginning to fill up with new faces making it difficult to find an empty table. Ronon sat off to one side of the mess hall digging into his dinner with his usual abandon. Even sitting down the man was a commanding presence in the room.

"How are the demonstrations going?" Sheppard asked as he pulled out a chair across from Ronon. He'd just finished giving the "Welcome" speech to a group of new recruits and was grabbing a quick dinner before the last group was scheduled to beam into the city.

"Okay, there're a few hot heads in this batch," Ronon grumbled between bites.

"You'll have 'em whipped into shape in no time. Anyone I should know about?" Sheppard asked.

"No, just the usual," he smirked.

Ronon looked up from his tray as two brash women sat down at the table. From the uniforms they were wearing he could tell they were civilian personnel.

"Good evening, ladies, welcome to Atlantis," Sheppard grinned.

"Hello, I hope you don't mind us joining you. The dinning hall is pretty full tonight," the chipper blonde announced. "My name is Ginny and this is my friend Rose."

"Hi," Rose smiled nodding at both men.

"I'm Colonel Sheppard and this is Ronon," John greeted them, leaning back in his chair.

"We were just admiring how beautiful and huge the city is, do you ever give guided tours?" Ginny asked smiling sweetly at Ronon.

"No," Ronon growled as he devoured his food not bothering to look up.

Rodney arrived taking a seat next to Ronon at the table. "What're they doing here?" he asked looking at the strange women.

"Don't be rude, Rodney, these are two of our new recruits and we were all just getting acquainted," Sheppard said frowning at his friend.

"We usually don't have strangers at our table is all," he stated defending his rudeness.

Radek and Teyla approached the table and settled into the empty seats. Sheppard once again introduced the women to the newcomers and Teyla struck up a conversation with Rose but Ginny continued to try and draw Ronon into some kind of dialogue.

* * *

Jennifer sat in the mess hall by herself enjoying a quiet meal wondering how she got so lucky to have the table all to herself when an unfamiliar voice brought her out of her pondering.

"Excuse me, do you mind if I join you?" the Airman asked looking down at her.

"Um sure … have a seat," she stuttered tensely. "I'm afraid you caught me daydreaming."

"You must not be new here if you can do that surrounded by all this noise," he laughed. "By the way, I'm Sergeant Rivers," he said extending his hand.

"Nice to meet you, Sergeant, I'm Jennifer," she said as she shook his hand. Jennifer did her best to cover her nervousness. She still felt unsure of herself around strangers especially Military personnel. Although she couldn't be sure, she was pretty certain that her attacker had been stationed at Cheyenne Mountain causing her to have trust issues outside her immediate circle of friends.

"So … Jennifer, how long have you been a part of the expedition?" Rivers asked cracking the seal on his water.

"Going on two years now but I took a little break and just arrived back in the city myself." Jen explained awkwardly. "How long have you been in the Air Force?"

"I went to the Academy right out of high school and worked my way up. Saw a lot of the world but never thought I'd be lucky enough to land this assignment," Rivers said grinning.

Major Lorne loaded up his tray heading for Sheppard's table when he caught sight of Jennifer sitting by herself with a new recruit. Lorne knew Jennifer well enough to realize she wasn't comfortable sitting with the Sergeant based on her body language.

"Hey, Doc, how was your first day back?" Evan asked leaning down to kiss her cheek as he pulled the chair out. He hoped his familiarity would dissuade the man from hitting on Jennifer his first day on base.

Sergeant Rivers immediately stood in the presence of his superior officer but Lorne quickly motioned for him to relax and take his seat.

"Feels good to be home and back to work," Jen smiled thanking Evan for the rescue with a slight nod. "Sergeant Rivers was keeping me company."

* * *

Ginny continued to work her wiles on Ronon hoping to spark a little interest from the man. She had admired him from the moment they'd beamed into the city and couldn't take her eyes off him during the sparring demonstrations. She'd give a month's pay for a date with the hunky man.

"So Ronon, I love your dreadlocks, are they hard to maintain? I had my hair braided once on a vacation in Jamaica and absolutely loved it," she rambled.

"Huh?" Ronon grunted. He wasn't sure what she was talking about but figured it must be Earth related. He just wanted to eat his meal in peace but knew she wasn't giving up and he really couldn't ignore her since she was sitting cattycorner to him at the table.

"Have you ever been to Jamaica?" Ginny asked batting her eyelashes.

"Never been to Earth," he growled scowling at Sheppard for some kind of help.

"Chewy doesn't stray too far from home but I've spent many a spring break enjoying the warm Caribbean breezes," Sheppard said jumping into the conversation.

"Oh … so you're not from Earth?" Ginny said all flirty. Now the bronze warrior was even more desirable and she tried even harder to engage him in some kind of conversation.

"Later," Ronon grumbled looking over at Sheppard and rolling his eyes.

"I'll meet you in the gym after the last group beams in," Sheppard said before turning back to finish chatting with the girls.

Ronon picked up his tray and moved over to sit at Lorne's table where he could finish his meal in peace.

"Hey Doc," Ronon greeted as he took a seat beside her. "You working tonight?"

"Just finished. Do you have demos?" Jennifer asked knowing he might need her services.

"In a couple hours but we might take some challenges later if there's time," he grinned raising an eyebrow. Ronon preferred to have Jennifer take care of his medical needs and tended to be unmerciful to the rest of the staff with Carson Beckett being the exception. It wasn't so much that he didn't trust the rest of the staff it's just that Beckett and Jennifer were the only ones who weren't intimidated by him and Ronon had no patience for strangers touching him. He was extremely thankful the young doctor had changed her mind and returned to Atlantis.

"I'll leave word to page me if you end up in the infirmary," she chuckled. "But try to play nice with the new recruits," she playfully scolded.

"Ronon, this is Sergeant Rivers," Lorne said introducing the unfamiliar person at the table. "Sergeant … Ronon, he'll most likely be one of your training instructors," Lorne explained as the two men nodded at each other.

"So Jennifer, have you seen much off world action? I noticed some possible battle scarring," Rivers asked eager to hear of past missions and heroic skirmishes.

Ronon and Evan both noticed the tension that engulfed Jennifer as she tried to remain calm. Both men had spent months and in Evan's case, years as her self imposed protectors. The men knew something traumatic had happened to Jennifer but they also knew she wasn't ready to talk about it.

"Relax Sergeant, once you're trained you'll have lots of adventures to talk about and yes, I've been on off world missions but I'm afraid I acquired this ice skating with my dad on a frozen lake in Wisconsin," Jennifer said smiling as she ran her fingers over her scar.

Ronon turned slightly sideways watching her as she touched the scar on her face. Looking down he caught the small tremor in her hand that was sitting on the table and he slowly covered it to hide her discomfort.

"Well, I need to talk with Sheppard so I'll leave you in Ronon's capable hands," Evan announced smiling at Jennifer as he and Ronon exchanged an understanding look.

Jennifer was wise to their unspoken language knowing that Ronon was just given the job of making sure she wasn't left alone with the Sergeant. Rather than be mad for their over protectiveness, she was grateful that she didn't have to figure it all out by herself.

"Say Jennifer, I heard there's a movie tonight in the Rec Room and was wondering if you'd like to go with me?" Rivers asked as he finished up his pudding cup.

"She's busy," Ronon answered with no further discussion. "Are you done?" he asked putting her empty tray on top of his own and standing up.

"It was good to meet you, Sergeant. I'm sure I'll see more of you in the weeks ahead, enjoy your movie," Jen smiled as she stood with Ronon and left the dining room.

Sergeant Rivers watched the two walk away and wondered if Jennifer was involved with the instructor or with the Major for that matter, they were both very familiar with the woman. "Oh well, doesn't hurt to ask," he thought deciding to try again later for a date.

"Thanks," Jennifer said as she and Ronon walked toward the transporter. "Did you get a chance to practice much while I was gone?"

"Practice what?" Ronon asked with a puzzled frown.

"Rescuing the damsel in distress," she smirked as they walked toward her room.

"He's not your type and you're too polite," he explained.

"I missed you," she smiled jabbing him in his arm with her shoulder.

Ronon threw his arm around her and mussed her hair. "Ice skating?"

"What, didn't I sound convincing?" she asked worriedly.

"I've scene enough knife wounds to know one when I see it," he grumbled. "But I'm sure Rivers believed you."

Jennifer was thankful they'd arrived at her door as she pointed it out to Ronon. Unfortunately her old room was already occupied when she'd returned but her new quarters were just down the hall from Marie and Teyla so she was happy.

"Thanks for not asking," she said as she opened her door.

"When you're ready," he answered. "Get some sleep, Doc," he added waiting till she closed her door.

Jennifer secured her door moving further into the room as she took off her shoes and changed into lounge clothes. Sighing contentedly she thought about the good friends she had in Atlantis and wondered why she'd ever considered not returning.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or the awesome characters.

_I appreciate your reviews and look forward to your feedback._

_

* * *

_

Chapter 2

Ronon finished dressing and prepared to leave for the mess hall to grab a bite to eat. They'd be leaving in an hour on a day mission to check on a new trading partner and he didn't want to rely on power bars all day. Approaching his door Ronon found another letter lying on the floor where it'd been shoved under the door. Looking at the note, he realized the same person had left it. Ronon moved over to his desk, placing the note with the others, he decided it was time to deal with the problem as soon as he returned from his mission.

Over the past couple of years Ronon had received other anonymous notes and cards from admirers but never with as much persistence as the recent onslaught of correspondence he'd received since this new batch of recruits arrived. After all this time he still didn't understand Earth women. Why couldn't they be more like Doc. If he ever decided to look for another mate it'd be with someone more like her or Teyla than the pushy women who threw themselves at him.

* * *

Jennifer settled into a comfortable routine resuming all her previous duties working with Dr. Beckett on several research projects as well. She was more than satisfied with her life although there were moments when she felt a twinge of loneliness. She knew she spent too much time absorbed in her work avoiding all social functions but somehow it was easy, like a warm blanket on a cold night.

She'd joined Ronon or Lorne for the occasional meal in the mess hall or monthly movie in the Rec Room but for the most part she kept pretty much to herself. Jen liked it that way especially since the attack. She still didn't feel comfortable around strangers and doubted herself when it came to relationships. Lately she'd been thinking about taking some self-defense lessons knowing it would boost her confidence. It seemed like the military presence on base was always offering different classes and she needed to find a beginner's class that would fit into her work schedule.

Jennifer finished her shift deciding to grab a bite to eat before SGA-1 returned from their mission. She left word with Marie she'd give Ronon his return checkup if needed. Situating herself in the lounge area with a sandwich and a bottle of water Jen opened her book and relaxed on the couch hoping to dissuade conversation with the few stragglers in the dining hall. As she finished her sandwich Jen was summoned to the infirmary.

"Sorry, Dr. Keller, it seems that Ronon returned with a nasty gash to his forehead and you know how he hates being tended to by the rest of the staff," Marie apologized as she directed Jennifer to the back of the infirmary.

"No problem, I wasn't doing anything important," she answered.

Entering the infirmary, Jennifer walked across the room picking up an instrument tray and pair of gloves on her way to Ronon's bed.

"Hey Ronon, how was your mission?" Jen asked motioning for him to lie down.

"Easy, till a tree branch got me," he growled. Ronon watched as Jennifer leaned over his face examining the wound. He liked it when Doc worked on him. There was something about her small hands and gentle touch he found relaxing. Or maybe it was just lying down and the warmth from the bright light that was relaxing. Either way, as the tension drained from his body he found himself hungry.

"Do you want to get something to eat?" Ronon asked as he stood to leave the infirmary.

"Sure, I could do with a cup of tea," Jen smiled as she took off her gloves. Marie thanked her and offered to clean up the workstation.

As they entered the mess hall Jennifer paused and pulled a training schedule from the bulletin board tucking it into her book she decided to look it over later in her quarters.

The two settled at a table in the back of the room with a view of the lights over the city. Jennifer always felt comfortable and safe in Ronon's presence. She completely relaxed sipping her tea knowing she wouldn't be bothered by anyone for a few brief moments while they shared a meal together.

"So, why do you have a training schedule in your book?" he asked recognizing the familiar pamphlet.

"I was thinking of taking some self-defense classes if I can find a time that works with my schedule," Jennifer explained.

"Good idea," Ronon replied in agreement.

The dining room was fairly empty when Ginny and Rose walked in laughing and carrying on rather loudly. Ronon looked up and winced hoping they'd find a table on the other side of the room.

"You look rather uncomfortable, is anything wrong?" Jennifer asked.

"I keep running into that loud woman over there," Ronon scowled nodding toward Ginny and Rose.

"A new admirer?" Jen said grinning. "Should we ask them to join us?" she teased.

"Not funny," Ronon growled. "Say, I was hoping you could help me with something kind of personal sometime when you're not busy?"

"Sure, how about after we finish eating?" Jennifer suggested.

"Good, I'll be right back," Ronon said as he stood up moving away from the table. "Don't go anywhere," he added.

In an instant Jennifer watched Ronon quickly leave the table heading toward the doors. He was a man of few words but she knew he'd explain himself when he returned. She couldn't help but smile thinking about the warm friendship they'd developed over the time she'd been in Atlantis.

Ginny and Rose sat down at the table behind Jennifer facing her table. She wondered if they'd overheard her conversation and were waiting for Ronon to return. Some women could be so obvious and she found it really annoying.

Jennifer fixed herself another cup of tea and was just settling back at their table when Ronon arrived. She watched him cross the room frowning at Ginny and Rose as he approached the table.

"Grab your tea," Ronon stated as he took Jen's elbow helping her up. He led her out to the balcony where they took seats at a table near a window that was casting good light from the dining room. He was relieved to find they had the whole terrace to themselves.

"So, what can I do for you?" Jennifer asked as she took a sip of her tea.

Ronon reached inside his shirt and pulled out a small stack of papers. Removing the rubber band he placed them on the table in front of Jennifer.

"Can you read these to me?" Ronon asked.

"Ronon, they look rather personal. Are you sure you want me to read them?"

"Yeah, I think they're all from the same person but I have a hard time reading your language," he explained.

"Wow, I never thought about that. Of course it wouldn't be your first language," Jen reasoned. "I'll be happy to read them to you but if you want me to stop just say so."

"Is this the first one?" she asked holding the note so he could see it.

"I think that's the first one I got but it doesn't matter to me."

"Okay, here goes …"

Hey Handsome

_I'd sure like to get to know you better. You're welcome at my table anytime! I usually eat lunch at 1:00 everyday. Hope you can join me tomorrow._

_G_

"So, do you know who this G is?" Jennifer asked.

"Not sure. We had a couple women sit at our table last time the Daedalus docked. I think she kept saying her name was Jenny, kind of like yours," Ronon explained.

"Does this kind of thing happen often?" she asked amazed.

"Yeah, but this one seems stubborn. I just want her to go away."

"Well, Jenny can also be spelled with a G so maybe the letters are from her. Should I keep going?" she asked not wanting to invade his personal space.

"Sure, keep going … see what she wants," he frowned.

_Hey Handsome,_

_Haven't seen you all week. Hope you haven't forgotten about me. I think we could be very good friends. Why don't you meet me for dinner on Thursday night – I'll be looking for you at 6:00._

_G_

"So have you ever seen this woman in the mess hall since that first day?"

"No, I don't think so… not counting tonight. I usually eat with Sheppard or Teyla … don't pay attention to anyone else," Ronon answered.

"Let me read another one, maybe it'll help."

Hey, my handsome warrior,

_Watched you sparring last night and couldn't help but get all hot and bothered. I had a hard time sleeping – dreaming naughty thoughts!!!_

_You're always welcome at my door … __anytime__. Come see me. Room 224E_

_G_

"Why would my sparring bother her?" Ronon asked scowling.

"_Oh lordy_," Jennifer mumbled wondering how to explain it to her friend. The man could easily have the same effect on her if she let herself entertain those thoughts for any amount of time.

"She's not bothered in a negative way. What she means is … she finds you attractive and kind of desires you … like in a sexual way," she explained blushing.

"Sorry," he mumbled knowing she was probably embarrassed.

"Maybe the next one won't be so bad," she said smiling.

_Hey Handsome,_

_I dreamt about you last night and you were just as good as I knew you'd be. Come by my room tonight and I'll demonstrate … I guarantee you'll enjoy it._

_G_

"I'm sorry Ronon … not all Earth women are like this," Jennifer stated grimacing. "Unless you enjoy this kind of flirting and in that case, aren't you lucky."

"No," Ronon grunted. "I'm not interested in all her games."

"How often did you say you got letters like this?" she asked

"I get a few whenever the Daedalus arrives with new recruits. Everyone else pretty much leaves me alone," he replied matter-of-factly. "I've never gotten this many from the same woman."

"Well, she's persistent," she chuckled. "Let's try another one."

_Hey Handsome,_

_Are you playing hard to get?? That's okay, I'm not going anywhere and I love the chase! I sat all morning in an ancient artifacts lecture daydreaming of chocolate sauce and whipped cream. If you're ready for a midnight snack drop by my room tonight for a little something special! _

_G _

"Well, I think it's safe to say she has a crush on you and seems very determined," Jen declared stating the obvious.

"What does she mean with the chocolate and whipped cream?" Ronon asked with a puzzled look on his face. "She doesn't make a lot of sense."

"Good golly," Jen muttered rolling her eyes. "Um … I think she is referring to … uh certain kinds of sex games," she stuttered blushing from head to toe. Jennifer watched Ronon who continued to look confused. Rolling her eyes again she continued to explain, "She's probably suggesting you pour chocolate sauce on her body and whipped cream."

"Why would I do that?" he scowled.

"So you can lick it off," Jen said bluntly watching Ronon squirm. "Are you sure you've never talked to this woman? She seems pretty determined for someone who's never been with you," Jen asked puzzled by the woman's pushy attitude.

"I'm sure," Ronon said handing her another letter.

_Hey Big Boy,_

_Those leather pants you wore today were hot and sexy. I wanted to run my hands all over them._

_You haven't accepted my invitations … shame on you. I think you might need a spanking. I'll be up late tonight._

_G_

"Too bad, another lost opportunity," Jen giggled picking up another letter. She quickly scanned the contents and turned bright red.

"What?" Ronon asked observing her discomfort.

"Sorry, this is as far as I go," Jen apologized handing the last two letters back to Ronon. "I realize that being a doctor I shouldn't be shocked by anything but I have my limits. I don't honestly think I can read these out loud in mixed company," she stammered.

"Sorry, Doc, I didn't mean to embarrass you," he apologized. "Thanks for reading them."

"You're welcome," she replied smiling. "Ronon, would you like me to teach you to read our language?"

"Maybe," he answered thinking over her offer. "I'll let you know."

Ronon walked Jennifer back to her quarters when they'd finished their dessert. He dumped the letters in a trashcan on the way hoping she didn't think he enjoyed them.

"Thanks for walking me home _Handsome_," Jennifer laughed.

Ronon reached over and mussed her hair growling playfully. "See you tomorrow, Doc."

"Think about my offer, Ronon, I'm serious," Jen said knowing it'd be easy to teach him to read. He was an extremely smart man despite what people assumed.

Jennifer thought about the notes as she laid waiting for sleep to consume her. The woman was unmerciful in her pursuit of her prey. Jen realized she was very protective of her friend and didn't like what was going on especially when Ronon didn't like it either. She had no doubt he'd tell _G_ to get lost if she ever confronted him and it wouldn't be pleasant. For a fleeting moment, before sleep finally took her away for the night, she wondered if her protectiveness could actually be jealousy.

Ronon thought a lot about Doc's offer to teach him to read. He'd never thought it a useful tool but thinking it over now he could see how it might come in handy at times. Plus he could spend more time with Doc, which he was beginning to find very relaxing and if he were truthful with himself… quite pleasant.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or the awesome characters.

_Thank you to all of you who are reading and enjoying the story._

_I appreciate your reviews and look forward to your feedback._

_

* * *

_

Chapter 3

Jennifer sat pouring over the training pamphlet as she finished her breakfast. It didn't look like she had a lot of choices but there was one self-defense class that fit with her schedule. It was taught by Captain James and met three times a week at 1900 hours. She decided to sign up on her way to work so she couldn't chicken out.

"Hey, did you find a class?" Ronon asked nodding at the schedule as he set his tray down on the table.

"Good morning … yes, it starts tonight with a Captain James. Do you know him?" she asked pointing to the class description.

"No, don't know a whole lot of the newer recruits. It'll be a good fit for you … self-defense skills are good to start with," he encouraged.

"What's your day look like?" Jen asked tucking the schedule back in her book.

"Got a supply mission in an hour but shouldn't take all day," he said between bites. "What about you, are you working today?"

"I'm on days right now and then the first self-defense class is tonight. Hope it's a big class so I blend in – I always feel rather clumsy at things like this."

"You shouldn't … you have skillful hands. You've stitched me up more than once," he said grinning.

"That's an understatement!" she laughed. "I'll let you know how it goes."

Jennifer enjoyed her meals with Ronon. It was always easy talking to this man of few words. She had several men who were good friends … Ronon, Evan, Carson even Colonel Sheppard was beginning to fit into her collection of trustworthy "brothers". She often wondered why she couldn't find a man that possessed even a few of their excellent qualities who'd be interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with her. She was too young to put aside her dreams of love and family but her present situation didn't provide many opportunities. Jennifer knew pursuing a relationship with a military man was out of the question after her attack. Actually, any kind of romantic involvement was too much for her right now but hopefully that wouldn't always be the case. She sighed heavily pushing all these thoughts to the back of her mind as she returned to work and the real world.

* * *

Jennifer showed up at her self-defense class a few minutes early hoping to stretch the worries of the day out of her mind before the class began.

"Good evening Dr. Keller," Captain James announced as he extended his hand introducing himself. "Glad you decided to join our class," he grinned.

"Thank you, Captain, I'm looking forward to the challenge," Jen answered sensing the man might be a bit arrogant. _Why do I always end up with the over-confident jerks?_ she thought to herself.

The gym started to fill with other classmates and Jennifer wandered toward the back of the room hoping to slip in next to a female student. The class started right on time and soon they were all immersed in warm-up exercises and the basics of hand-to-hand combat. Jennifer was really enjoying the strenuous workout and thankful she'd signed up. She was so tuned into the class she didn't notice when Ronon slipped in the door and stood at the back of the room observing the Captain's teaching style.

James was excited at seeing Ronon observe his class proceeding to strut around like a proud peacock. Believing Ronon to be a fierce, no-nonsense instructor himself, James began to roughly correct his students on their moves both physically and verbally.

Ronon was not impressed knowing that criticism was rarely constructive in this kind of situation. Combat moves were hard to learn and what did these civilians know of knife fights or strangle holds. He'd maintained a slow and patient method of teaching with non-military and always had good results. James' cocky superior attitude didn't set well with the training instructor.

"Okay people, some of you are having a hard time just standing still without tripping over your feet," James barked as he paced back and forth in front of the class. "It's my job to whip you into shape and teach you the skills you'll need to stay alive out in the real world. Obviously, there are a few of you that will never be able to fight your way out of a paper bag and you might want to re-think taking this class," he lectured causing everyone to wonder about their ability to learn anything.

"Great," Jennifer mumbled to herself.

"What's that, Dr. Keller?" James growled hearing her sarcastic comment.

"Nothing Captain," she answered turning beet red from embarrassment.

"It's time for our review of the class so Dr. Keller, why don't you join me up front," he firmly suggested. "You can be my helper tonight."

Jennifer frowned as she made her way to the front of the class. She endured several minutes of his constant ridicule concerning her lack of skills before he used her as a dummy for his own personal demonstration.

"Class, I want you to come a bit closer so everyone can see. I'll be showing you a few basic moves that we'll be learning in the course of this class," he explained hoping to impress Ronon.

James instructed Jennifer to try and defend herself any way she could as he came at her explaining different scenarios. Each time Jennifer ended up on the mat wondering what happened. The maneuvers happened quickly, in the blink of an eye, leaving Jennifer wondering if she'd even been touched.

"Well, looks like Dr. Keller may have to take this class twice," Captain James laughed at Jennifer's expense. Next, the Captain decided to explain one of his moves in slow motion taking hold of Jennifer's arms and holding her firmly while he described his actions to the class.

Jennifer felt extremely uncomfortable in James' grip and wished the man would hurry up and throw her to the mat. As his explanation dragged on she began to feel a bit panicky and started to squirm.

"I think that's enough," she quietly said trying to remove herself from his hold. The more she pulled away the firmer he held on to her. Jennifer was no longer listening to his words but trying desperately to get out of his grasp. "Let go of me," she whispered trying not to make a scene.

"Hold on Dr. Keller, I'm just about done," he answered glaring at his captive. "By the end of this course you'll learn how to overcome your attacker and avoid this type of situation."

"I'm done, please let go of me," she stated firmly. "I don't like this," she added trying to pull her arms free.

"We're not quite done here," he said glaring at her for embarrassing him. The demonstration had moved into a battle of wills and James was not about to give in.

Ronon moved away from the wall preparing to step in if James didn't let go of her arms. He could see Jennifer starting to panic and he didn't like seeing James harass her.

Jennifer started feeling helpless and trapped. Determined not to be a victim again, she kicked him in the shin with all the force her petite body could muster. "Yes, we are done," she yelled, pulling her arms free.

James yelped while hopping around on one foot. If looks could kill he'd have put her in the ground right then.

"I took this class so men couldn't attack me," she hissed. "I don't need you pawing me to impress your peers." Jennifer was so angry and scared at the same time. She turned and ran out of the gym without even noticing Ronon standing by the door.

Once out in the corridor she slowed down trying to catch her breath. Try as she might she couldn't stop the few stray tears that ran down her cheeks. Just as she got her panic attack under control she felt a hand clamp down on her shoulder. Whirling around she started backing away until she hit the wall.

"Jennifer, it's me," Ronon called out to her. "Are you okay?" he asked holding his hands up in surrender.

She stood planted against the wall trying to clear the fog away and identify the voice talking to her.

"Ronon, I'm sorry," she apologized moving into his personal space and throwing her arms around his waist. "I thought you were someone else," she added as the tears flowed.

He reached down and held her until she relaxed and pulled away. "Are you okay," he asked again.

"Thanks," she said wiping her face. "I didn't do too well in my first class," she smirked.

"Yeah, I saw," he said smiling. "Your instructor wasn't very good," he added.

"Maybe I should just carry a gun," she suggested sarcastically.

"Do you have time to get some food? I want to talk to you about something," he asked formulating a plan.

"Sure," Jen agreed turning to walk with him toward the mess hall.

They entered the dining room and Ronon quickly filled a tray while Jennifer made a cup of tea to go with her sweet roll. Walking across the room they settled at a table against the wall away from the few stragglers occupying other tables.

"I don't like your instructor … I want you to quit his class," Ronon said forcefully. "I'll teach you."

"I'd much rather take lessons from you but I've checked and my schedule doesn't fit with your classes," she explained with disappointment.

"We'll start when you get off work as long as I'm not off world," he stated firmly. "We can use the sparring room since it'll just be the two of us."

"Ronon, I can't ask you to give up your evenings just because my instructor's an arrogant ass," Jen complained.

"I want to," he answered simply.

"Will you let me give you reading lessons in exchange?" she asked hoping to find some way to thank him.

"That sounds fair," he agreed. "My job will be much easier," he laughed.

The two were talking about schedules and meeting places when Captain James entered the dining hall. Spotting Jennifer sitting at a table on the far side he proceeded to charge over to her table.

"Dr. Keller," Captain James barked. "Your actions in class were highly inappropriate and definitely unprovoked. I will not stand for anymore of your outbursts in the future and would like a public apology at our next session," he demanded failing to observe Ronon's building anger.

Jennifer could see Ronon start to get up and reached over patting his hand, "I'll take care of this," she whispered standing up.

"Captain, how would you like me to word that apology? Should I go with, _sorry that our instructor is a self-righteous arrogant jackass_, or maybe I should say, _sorry we are having to be subjected to this type of aggressive humiliation_?" Jen asked rudely. "I guess it really doesn't matter because I quit your class and have nothing to apologize for," she growled at him.

"No, no, no, you can't quit my class, it'll ruin my perfect instructor record," he ranted. "You can't blame me for your lack of coordination and incompetence," James snarled turning bright red with anger.

"Okay," Jennifer said looking down at Ronon still sitting in his chair, "go ahead and shoot him."

"What?" James shrieked watching Ronon stand and power up his weapon. "This is highly uncalled for. You can't quit because I'm kicking you out of my class," he stammered as he scrambled away from Ronon's gun.

They could hear him mumbling and swearing all the way across the dining room and out the doors. The two looked at each other once the man was out of sight and burst out laughing. Jennifer was feeling much better about her evening and most of that was due to Ronon's intervention and the confidence he gave her.

* * *

Jennifer enjoyed her new "hobby" and the challenges it brought. She found some heavy poster board that would be perfect for an alphabet chart. Next she dug through her junk drawer and found an old voice recorder using it to record the sounds of the different letters. Before they began the classes she made flash cards for his first homework assignment. Life on Atlantis could be intense and overwhelming at times and she was thankful for the distraction.

Jennifer and Ronon began their teaching sessions meeting 4-5 times a week as their schedules allowed. They'd start off with hand-to-hand combat ending with a shorter reading lesson before heading to the mess hall for something to eat. Jennifer couldn't remember the last time she felt this content and happy. She knew a lot of it had to do with the amount of time she was spending with Ronon.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or the awesome characters.

_I appreciate your reviews and look forward to your feedback._

_

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Chapter 4

Jennifer finished packing her duffle with all the things she'd need for the day plus a few more … always a few more! She was hitching a ride with some botanists who'd gotten permission to spend their mandatory day off on the mainland looking for new flora and fauna with a picnic lunch. Jennifer decided to follow suit and look for some medicinal herbs and flowers before stretching out in the sun to read her book and nap.

Lorne was already in the jumper going over his pre-flight checklist when Jen arrived. He had plans to spend some quality time with his paints and easel out on the south pier, but first he volunteered for shuttle service when he saw Jennifer's name on the manifest. He still hadn't had his "brotherly" talk with Doc since she'd returned to Atlantis and figured this would be the perfect time.

"Hey Major," Jen beamed as she set her duffle on the floor. "Can I call shotgun?"

"Saved it for you," he grinned. "You realize this is a day off," he chided her seeing how full her duffle bag appeared.

"Don't worry, I brought my book and shorts," she assured him.

"Your shorts?" he teased raising an eyebrow.

"I plan on getting a little sun while I read and eat," she grinned.

"Remember, you'll be sharing space with some over achieving botanists who probably haven't seen that much bare skin since they've been here so be gentle," he chuckled.

"Are you speaking from personal experience?" she laughed.

Jennifer shrieked as Lorne reached across to tickle her just as the botanists arrived. "I'll get even with you later, Missy," he growled playfully moving back into his Major persona.

The trip to the mainland was quick and uneventful. Lorne found an open meadow close to the shore to land the jumper then helped everyone with their equipment. After helping the scientists with all their boxes and packs he vowed never to complain again about Doc's supplies.

"Say Doc, do you have a few minutes?" Evan asked as he set down the last box from the jumper.

"Sure, whatcha need?"

"Do you have time to go for a walk?" Lorne proposed.

"I'd love that, why don't we walk down by the water," she suggested.

Lorne grabbed her hand and led her down toward the shore. Stopping on the sandy beach they took off their shoes and Evan rolled up his pant legs so they could walk along the shore in the warm water. If he closed his eyes he could almost believe he was back in the states walking along the beach.

"You've been home for several months now and we still haven't had a chance to catch up," Evan said working up the courage to ask her the awkward questions. "Are you glad you came back?"

"I'm more at peace each day and very thankful I came back … thankful I came home," she smiled enjoying the fresh air and sunshine. "I missed you Ev."

Jennifer plopped down on the sand after they made their way back to their discarded shoes. It was wonderful getting away for the day and she wished Evan could stay longer.

"How are you doing, Jennifer?" he asked concerned. "I know you've settled back into your job and the routines of Atlantis but how do you feel emotionally?" Evan sat running his toes through the sand waiting patiently for her answer.

"I guess you could say I'm conflicted," Jen stated knowing from the look on his face that she's need to explain herself better. "I love being home, love my job and all the people I work with, love the crazy few I call friends but … I'm not really ready to deal with the past. I know I'm in denial but I just don't think it's necessary to drag it all up again and open old wounds."

"You're a doctor, do you think that's healthy?" Evan asked quietly. "Can you tell me what happened?"

"I'll give you the condensed version but only because I trust you and I know it's driving you crazy with worry," she conceded sighing.

Evan put his arm around her shoulders pulling her closer as they both looked out at the vast endless ocean stretching out in front of them.

"I was coming home one night from a weekend with my dad and was mugged by a man in the parking lot. He grabbed me from behind so I never got a good look at him. He tried to drag me away but I fought him off and ran screaming for the security guards. They never caught the guy and I boarded the Daedalus two weeks later,"

By the time she finished with her story she was speaking so softly that Evan could barely hear her. He knew it was painful for her to talk about but he couldn't stop himself from asking the difficult questions he needed answers for to.

"Did he … do anything, ah, anything else … ," he was having a hard time expressing himself when Jennifer cut him off.

"No, Evan," she stated firmly. "He cut me but I got away before he could do anything else." Jennifer could feel him relax a bit knowing she hadn't been violated.

"You know it wasn't your fault… right?" Lorne worried she'd somehow hold herself responsible.

"I couldn't help blaming myself at first. I should've waited for an escort, it was stupid and foolish to presume I'd be safe just because I was on base. But I've finally worked through the guilt and now I'm at the stage where I trust very few people. Not sure how long I'll be stuck here," she sighed putting her head on his shoulder.

"You know I'll always be here for you," Evan reminded her.

"You're on the top of my trust list," she smiled.

"Will you be okay here today?"

"Yep, I know Sarah, and the guys have been on Atlantis for a long time. Besides, they're all like kids in a candy shop so I doubt I'll see them again till the ride back," she chuckled.

"I'd love to stay for a while but I need to get back and pick up Carson. He has a fishing trip planned for a bit further north of here and I'm his ride," Lorne explained. "Come walk me back." He helped her up then pulled her into his arms for a while feeling her relax as he held her.

"Have you got your radio with you?" Evan inquired.

"Right here," she pointed to her pocket.

"I'll be back around 1800 hours but keep your radio close in case anything changes," he instructed as they reached the jumper. "How about having dinner with me tonight?"

"Sounds great and a perfect ending to a restful day," she smiled

Jennifer waved good-by then headed back to the beach with her duffle. She spread out her blanket after changing into her shorts and settled down with her book. It was a good day she thought to herself as she pulled the radio out placing it on the blanket beside her. It'd been good to talk about her attack out loud, made her feel like she was dealing with it.

* * *

It took Jennifer a while to realize the buzzing she was hearing was actually someone trying to contact her on her radio.

"Dr. Keller, this is Atlantis, please respond," Chuck repeated.

Jennifer awoke from her nap and felt around for her radio.

"This is Dr. Keller, sorry for the delay."

"Dr. Keller, you've been recalled to the base. Transport is on the way to pick up you and the botany team."

"We'll be ready," she answered. Jen collected her things and filled her duffle bag heading back to the meadow. She quickly found the team and helped them pack putting them all back at the pick up site just as the jumper was landing. The group shuttled back in relative silence having been informed of the tragedy back on Atlantis.

* * *

To lose so many to the explosion was inconceivable and the death of her dear friend and co-worker, Dr. Carson Beckett was unbearable. Standing at the memorial service hearing the mournful wail of the bagpipes as his friends walked his coffin through the stargate was more than she could bear. As with Teyla, she felt a great sadness.

Jennifer returned to her quarters after the service to change her clothes before going for a long walk. She spent hours walking around the outer edges of the city returning long after dark to the balcony that overlooked the east pier.

Carson's friends returned through the stargate the same evening while Rodney stayed on Earth to accompany Carson back to Scotland to the waiting arms of his family. Somehow the city felt empty and lonely tonight.

Ronon ached for the loss of his friend but worried about Jennifer too when he returned to Atlantis and couldn't find her. He spent some time checking all the places he could think of but when he still couldn't find her he radioed Radek for her location.

Sitting in the darkness Jen finally allowed the grief to consume her and cried for all the lost lives and friends she would never talk with again in this life. This is where he found her, sobbing in the darkness.

Ronon sat down next to her leaning back against the outer wall. He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her to him trying to offer what comfort he could. Neither of them spoke lost in their own thoughts drawing solace from each other.

Jennifer turned slightly wrapping her arms around Ronon's waist as she buried her head in his chest. He was the strength she needed right now.

* * *

"Hey, did you forget our lessons?" Ronon asked leaning in the doorframe.

"Oh no, what time is it?" she startled looking at her watch. "Ronon, I'm so sorry, I totally lost track of the time." Jennifer sat rubbing her eyes, leaning back in her chair sighing. She'd only been the acting CMO for a few weeks and was still overwhelmed at the enormity of her new responsibilities.

Jen tried to nail Dr. Weir down earlier in the day for a time in the near future when a replacement would be chosen for the CMO job, hoping to confirm a date when she could go back to being a regular doctor. So far she'd just been getting the run around from the expedition leader and had a sinking feeling they weren't looking too hard to replace her.

"Come on," Ronon said pulling her out of her chair. "You need a break and something to eat."

"I really need to finish these reports," Jen explained only to be cut off with a stern look.

"You've done enough today," he insisted. "I need you for a little bit."

"Okay, what can I help you with," she asked while turning the lights out and closing the door.

"Eat first," he grinned pulling her toward the mess hall.

The couple filled their plates heading toward a secluded table away from the crowd and noise. He really didn't need anything, just wanted her company. He missed her when they didn't spend time together. They chatted quietly as they ate their dinner talking about his recent mission and the progress of her latest research project. After they finished eating they walked to the sparing room to start their lessons.

"Do you mind if we skip the training lesson since we got such a late start?" Ronon asked nodding toward the large clock on the wall.

"Sure, you mentioned you needed me … what can I help you with?" Jen asked as she sat in the middle of the floor.

"I didn't want to miss a reading lesson … the Daedalus is coming this week," he answered rather sheepishly. Actually, he just wanted to spend some time with the doctor and this was the best excuse he could come up with.

"Aren't you confident. You expecting some new love notes?" she asked winking.

"Just want to be ready," he explained smiling.

"Next I'll teach you how to write and you can create your own love notes," she laughed as she pulled her teaching materials out of her backpack spreading them out on the mat.

"I don't have any of that smelly paper," he explained putting a stop to her unpleasant suggestion.

"Not a problem," she declared, rummaging through her backpack for a pad of lavender notepaper. "I've got you covered, even has the flowery border," Jen laughed waving the pad in the air.

"Not gonna happen," he growled.

"Seriously, you've done so well with your lessons you should be able to read your own notes soon," Jennifer said proudly. "I have some new books for you coming on the Daedalus and some writing tablets in case you want to try your hand at writing."

Ronon was all for writing lessons if it meant he'd spend more time with his teacher. He'd already decided to give her sparing lessons once the hand-to hand training was complete. The more time he spent with Doc the more time he wanted. He knew his friendship was turning into something deeper and he didn't mind it at all.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or the awesome characters.

_Thank you to all of you who continue to read and review – your support is very much appreciated._

_

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Chapter 5

Jennifer hadn't had a training lesson all week and probably shouldn't take the time tonight but she wouldn't have many more chances between now and when the Daedalus arrived. The infirmary had been slammed with injuries from several off world missions gone awry and the added administrative duties had taxed her abilities beyond measure. She'd looked forward to spending time with Ronon and had been watching the clock all evening.

Jen walked into the gym and found Ronon already warming up. She put her bag down and began stretching.

"Hey Handsome, what's on the menu for tonight?" Jen asked between stretches.

"Menu? We're not eating." Ronon answered confused.

"Sorry, Earth slang … what do you have planned for this evening?" she smiled.

"I want to go over what you've learned about frontal assaults and then start with some defensive moves for surprise attacks," Ronon explained moving over to the mat.

The two spent a good hour working hard on everything she'd learned so far. Ronon kept increasing his speed and was pleased she was keeping up with him, not that he hadn't sent her to the mat several dozen times. She was definitely improving and a good sport about all the time she'd spent on her backside. He hated to admit it but this little spitfire, one of the new words he'd just recently learned, was continuing to worm her way into his heart. He knew she wasn't ready for anything personal just yet so he pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind. When she was ready he'd show her how he felt.

"Okay, are you ready to learn some new moves?" Ronon asked while they rested on a bench for a few minutes drinking from their water bottles.

"Yes, but can we go slow? I do better if I can picture the whole thing in my head," Jen explained smiling as Ronon pulled her up off the bench.

"Go ahead and face away from me and try to relax." Ronon positioned himself behind Jen waiting for her to shake out the kinks in her shoulders and ready herself. Quietly, he walked up behind her and threw his left arm around her pulling her tight to his body pinning her arms to her sides.

Ronon wasn't prepared for her reaction. Jennifer totally freaked out and did everything she could to get away from him. As she began thrashing violently Ronon realized she was seriously upset and released the hold he had on her.

Jennifer jumped away from Ronon and started pacing trying to get control of her emotions. She put her hands on her hips and bent at the waist pulling in deep gulps of air.

Ronon moved forward to see if he'd hurt her but Jen moved quickly away with a look he'd never forget. He saw the fear of a hunted animal in her eyes stopping him in his tracks. Not knowing what to do he stood still and waited.

Instantly the night of her attack came tumbling back rolling through her mind at lightning speed. Once again she was in that dark parking lot in fear for her life. She could see the knife, smell his breath, feel her flesh splitting open as he ran the sharp blade along her face.

Jen couldn't stand still she kept pacing and jerking in frustration trying to find some relief. _Why was this happening again_, she kept thinking over and over. It'd been months since the attack and she thought it was all over with when she arrived back in Atlantis. Then it'd bubbled its way to the surface with Captain James but once she'd had her talk with Evan she figured it'd be the end of it.

She walked to the far side of the gym and placed her hands against the wall leaning into them. She felt the tears coming and could do nothing to stop them. Embarrassed by her lack of control she sat down and pulled herself into a tight bundle before she lowered her head and began sobbing.

Ronon looked over when he heard the doors open and saw Sheppard walk in for their sparring session. He watched the Colonel survey the situation and shook his head when Sheppard looked at him questioningly.

John realized immediately something was wrong and nodded toward the doors silently excusing himself from their training session. He loitered outside in the hall guarding the door so Jennifer and Ronon would have some privacy.

"Doc, did I hurt you?" Ronon asked as he squatted in front of her touching her knees.

"No … no, you didn't hurt me," she declared frantically as she raised her head to look in his eyes. "You have never hurt me, please know that."

"Are you okay?" he asked feeling helpless.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry if I hurt you. I don't know what happened; I thought I'd dealt with all of this already. Why is this happening all over again?" she rambled.

Ronon stood up pulling her up off the floor and into his arms. He could feel her hesitate for just a moment and then she melted against his chest. He felt something break within her and he was worried. Ronon had no idea what was going on but he wanted to know what happened in those few short months while she was on Earth.

"Will you come with me?" Ronon asked holding her at arm's length so he see her face.

"Yes," she answered quietly.

Ronon reached down and took her hand leading her out of the gym to somewhere more private. As they walked out the door he made eye contact with Sheppard and nodded his appreciation.

Jennifer silently followed Ronon as he protectively led her through the corridors. She desperately wiped at her face willing the tears to stop but the dam had broken and she was powerless to control anything at the moment.

She berated herself silently as they walked along for being so "girly", so weak. It wasn't like her to be so out of control. But she'd never really dealt with the attack and it was back with a vengeance biting her in the ass for taking so long. She knew she had to deal with it now or it'd swallow her up but did it have to happen with Ronon. Did he have to see her like this? She kept waiting for him to growl, "Suck it up, Keller".

As they exited the transporter on the crew quarters level, he led her down the corridor toward his room. Before this night was over Ronon was determined to find out what was haunting her, he needed to know where that scar came from.

He closed the door and led Jennifer to his oversized recliner in the corner of the room. Scooping her up he sat down holding Jen in his lap. He held her tight tucking her head under his chin; he gently rubbed her back waiting till she was ready.

Jennifer was amazed at how safe she felt in this man's arms. Her mind was in overdrive with too many thoughts to address. Shouldn't she be afraid? Ronon was twice the man her attacker had been and so much fiercer. His commanding presence caused most personnel to cringe and move swiftly out of his way but she'd never felt safer than right now.

The room was dark but for the faint light from the moon as it was fading from sight. His eyes had grown accustom to the dim light and he was finally able to make out the fading line running down her face. "How did you get this scar?" Ronon asked gently running his fingers over the length of the cut.

Jennifer knew this wasn't something she could skirt around. She'd heard the firmness in his request, more of a demand than a question. Taking a deep breath she slowly and quietly replayed the story for what she hoped was the last time. When she was done she felt a peace wash over her soul like a healing balm, a restoration to her heart. She wondered how that could be as she drifted off to sleep.

Ronon pulled her in tighter to his chest trying to protect her from the horrors she'd endured but it was too late. The damage was done and he needed something to hit, something to ease the anger that was building rapidly as he thought about her words. But the man who caused her pain lived in another galaxy and she couldn't even identify him so for now he decided to do everything in his power to protect her from ever being hurt again.

He gently tucked the edge of her shirt into the waistband of her pants covering the slash mark. Reaching down along the side of his chair he pulled the throw blanket up covering both of them. Leaning the chair back he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

"Good morning buddy," Sheppard greeted setting his tray down on the table across from Ronon. "How's Doc doing?"

"She's fine," Ronon answered not wanting to talk about her.

"So … she seemed a bit upset last night." Sheppard said trying to open some dialog with the big guy.

"Yep," he answered between bites.

"Well, did she talk to you at all last night?" John prodded.

"Yep," he scowled.

"By any chance did she tell you how she got that scar? Cause I gotta tell you, I've heard everything from an ice skating mishap to a car accident and a few unsettling things in between," Sheppard stated raising his eyebrows for emphasis.

"Yep, she told me," Ronon grumbled.

"Well, are you going to share?" John asked growing frustrated with Ronon's short evasive answers.

"No … and don't ask her either," Ronon growled. "If she wants you to know she'll tell you."

"Okay, you certainly woke up on the wrong side of the bed," John mumbled.

Ronon smirked as he thought about waking up in his chair with Jen still snuggled into his arms. In his mind there was no wrong side.

* * *

Jennifer woke up in Ronon's chair with a headache and puffy eyes. Putting on her shoes she picked up her gym bag and quickly walked to her room to shower. While blowing her hair dry she thought back over her incident in the sparing room and how embarrassed she was for the emotional breakdown. Ronon was so kind and supportive but in the light of the _morning after_ she felt like a needy adolescent with trust issues, definitely high maintenance.

Why couldn't she run her personal life like she did her operating room? Hand her a scalpel and she was the picture of authority and competence. If she could just harness that confidence and inject it into her hormonal side she'd make a million. Maybe that should be her next research project.

It was a fairly slow morning in the infirmary leaving way too much time for doubt to take over and badger her about Ronon's intentions. By late afternoon she'd convinced herself that Ronon was just being a good friend and would never be interested in someone with so much emotional baggage.

It was time for an attitude adjustment … time to end this pity party and act like an adult.

Jen was right in the middle of giving herself a pep talk when Ronon walked in holding a bloody towel to his head.

"What happened?" Jennifer asked anxiously directing Ronon to a nearby bed.

"Working on a sparing demo for tomorrow, Sheppard got in a lucky hit," he frowned.

"Do it like this tomorrow and you'll give the new recruits false hope," she smirked.

"Won't they be surprised," he grinned.

Jennifer really enjoyed the easy rapport they shared and hoped her meltdown last night didn't damage it.

"So Doc, how are you feeling today?" Ronon quietly asked.

"Yeah, about last night … I'm really sorry for all the tears and panic attack," she apologized looking everywhere but at him.

"Hey," he said lifting her face so he could see her eyes. "I will always be here for you," he stressed. "I don't want an apology."

"Okay, but I can still say thank you," she smiled putting a bandage over his cut.

Looking around Ronon noticed activities had quieted down and the infirmary was rather deserted.

"Have you eaten all day?" he asked firmly.

"No, but I'll get something later."

"Come eat with me now before all the hot food is gone," Ronon insisted.

Jennifer was trying to decide if she should go now or wait till later when Ronon took her hand and lead her out the door and down the corridor toward the mess hall. It was good to have protective friends she thought as her stomach started to rumble.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Jennifer woke early laying in bed thinking about her dinner with Ronon. She was so thankful he'd insisted on eating together giving her a chance to clear the air. She'd had such a good time on their evenings together teaching each other new skills and would've been devastated if she'd ruined it with her crying jag.

She took some time revisiting the scene in the gym and her unexpected meltdown. It'd happened so fast she didn't have time to swallow it back down, lock it away in the corner of her mind where it belonged. Jen knew it was time to acknowledge the attack and stop pretending it never happened. Everything she'd gone through in her life up to this point had shaped the person she was today and she loved her life right at this moment. It was time to face her demons and let the healing process begin. She'd decided to stop running away from her past and embrace her new life on Atlantis.

Jennifer took a shower and stood blowing her hair dry in front of the bathroom mirror. New recruits were expected in the infirmary all day but she'd gotten up early so she still had a bit of time before she needed to grab breakfast and load up on caffeine for the day. Examining her face in the mirror she slowly ran her hand down the scar really looking at it for the first time in quite a while. After her moments of soul searching this morning it didn't look as ugly as she remembered. In fact it had faded quite a bid since she'd arrived back in the Pegasus galaxy. _Time to move on_, she smiled to herself.

After getting dressed for the day Jennifer couldn't help but think about Ronon and how well he'd done on his reading lessons. Maybe it was time for a test. Since the whole thing started with those saucy notes from an admirer she thought she'd slip a new note under his door and see how well he did at reading it himself. It was also a way to express herself without him ever knowing it was her thoughts and feelings. What started out as a mutual exchange of services had turned into a longing for more. She was in love with her friend and wondered if he had any feelings toward her.

Digging through her backpack she found her lavender writing tablet. Settling herself on the couch she began to compose.

_Hey Handsome,_

_I've been waiting for you to make a move for months now. What's the hold up? Thought you were a man of action! I really want you but a girl can't wait forever!_

_Make up your mind but don't break my heart._

_Lonely Lips. _

Jennifer laughed as she read the letter again. She was definitely out of her comfort zone when it came to writing sexy notes. She blushed just reading it through for the last time. It wasn't that every line wasn't true; it's just that she'd never be so bold as to voice it out loud.

Jennifer stopped by Ronon's room on the way to work and slipped the note under his door knowing he wouldn't be back from his mission until midday. She was certain he'd just think it was from another admirer and what female on base hadn't thought those exact things! Jen knew she was out of her league to think he'd return the feelings but a girl could dream. She didn't sign the note so he shouldn't have any idea who it was from. If anything it sounded a lot like _G_ wrote it. The test was perfect.

She had little time to dwell on the note as new recruits filled the infirmary all day. Marie kept everything flowing smoothly working the schedule so each doctor was given a break for lunch in the midst of the chaos. Thinking back over her morning Jennifer wondered if her friend was trying to play matchmaker. For some reason she found herself giving physicals to every good-looking guy that made his way through the infirmary doors. Jennifer knew Marie meant well but she wasn't interested and felt awkward having to find ways to graciously turn down dinner invitations and movie dates.

"Dr. Keller, it's time for your lunch break," Marie announced shooing her out of the clinic.

Marie purposefully arranged Jennifer's lunch break so she'd end up in the mess hall at the same time as the last batch of recruits. She was hoping someone interesting might sit with the doctor for lunch. It was about time her friend found something other than work to occupy her time.

Jennifer filled her tray finding an empty table by the back wall. The dining room was filling up quickly with so many new people joining the expedition. She arranged her food then opened her book to the last chapter she'd read. She'd only made it a few paragraphs when a deep voice brought her back to reality.

"Excuse me, do you mind if I join you?" a young Lieutenant asked.

"Ah, sure," Jen stuttered blushing slightly. She still didn't like making small talk with strangers. Having her book with her usually worked wonders but the newer recruits weren't knowledgeable to the workings of the older personnel yet and seemed fearless.

Jennifer and the Lieutenant had just made it through the introductions and usual "how do you like Atlantis?" questions when a new scientist and Marine joined them. It was nice having two more to help handle the conversation but she'd still rather read her book in silence.

* * *

Having finished his return physical, Ronon opened the door to his quarters and found the note lying on the floor. He set the scented letter on his bed deciding to read it after he showered and ate something. It was hard to believe he'd be getting notes already thinking it must not be from a new recruit. He figured he'd be note free until after the sparing demonstration later tonight.

Retrieving his boots from where he'd kicked them off, Ronon slipped them on readying himself to go get some food when his eye caught sight of the note. Curiosity got the better of him as he picked it up and began to read.

Finishing it for a third time, Ronon shoved the note in his pocket and stormed out of his room determined to find the sender. Heat simmered off his body as he marched down the corridor with a set jar and glaring eyes. No one bothered to speak to him or stand in his way giving the man a wide berth for fear of being the object of his wrath.

He stopped just inside the mess hall scanning the room for his teacher. Spotting the woman sitting at a table with strange men he took a moment to plan his next move. He watched her talk and smile with the men in animated banter for as long as he could stand it until his patience was gone and his temper flared.

When the Lieutenant touched her arm in a friendly gesture Ronon snapped. In a heartbeat he was standing beside her glaring at the men around the table while taking her elbow and pulling her up out of her seat.

"Hey," the Marine growled standing up to face Ronon inches from his face, "you need to take your hand off the lady."

Jennifer put her hand out toward the men at the table with her palm out hoping to stop them from doing something stupid. "I'm fine," she assured the men.

As Jennifer was trying to calm the Lieutenant and scientist who'd jumped up to join in the fray, Ronon leaned in and snarled at the Marine, "she belongs to me".

Ronon firmly grasped Jennifer's hand and guided … or rather pulled her from the lunchroom and down the corridor. He needed to find somewhere they could be alone without all the prying eyes of Atlantis.

The Marine hesitated then started to follow after them when Major Lorne stepped in his path on the way to Sheppard's table. "Stand down, Sergeant, I wouldn't advise that," he said chuckling. "You don't want to end up in the infirmary your first day here."

Jennifer tried to gauge Ronon's intent by the look on his face but she was having a hard time keeping up so most of what she saw was his back.

"Ronon, what's wrong? Are you upset with me? Are you hurt?" she asked pleadingly. "Have I done something to make you mad?" She couldn't tell if he was angry or just really determined but she willingly moved along the hallway knowing he'd speak his mind when they got to their destination.

Ronon was desperate to get her alone … a man on a mission. Walking past a set of doors he stopped dead in his tracks then turned back. Opening the door to the balcony he stuck his head in to see if it was deserted. _Finally,_ he thought. Pulling Jennifer onto the empty terrace he guided her to the far corner and stood toe to toe with her as he pulled the note out of his pocket.

"Oh my … ah … did you get another note?" she stammered trying to sound innocent while blushing head to toe.

"This better be from you," he growled with a hungry smirk, his voice barely above a whisper as he backed her against the wall.

Everything happened in the blink of an eye but in that instant she saw her future reflected in dark eyes full of desire and determination.

Ronon quickly ran his hand up the back of her neck into her hair cupping her head, firmly holding her in place. He searched her face briefly for any signs of fear before he took her mouth claiming her lonely lips as his. As the moment intensified neither of them noticed the delicate flowery paper tumble and float on the gentle breeze out across the City freeing his hand for more important things to hold. Coming up for air, Ronon pulled her closer laying soft kisses along the length of her scare.

Jennifer was through running. She'd found what she was longing for and fiercely returned his kisses staking her own claim.

Losing herself in his touch they remained on the balcony exploring their new relationship till long past the lunch hour.

The End

* * *

_Thank you so much to all of you who joined me on this journey. It's been a pleasure partnering with you to keep our favorite show and characters alive and well running the City of the Ancients. I truly appreciate all your reviews and feedback_. _You all make it well worth the effort._


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